GRANT CHAPTER 4

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After its first morning of work, as it made it every day before our journey, Françoise threw me a telephone call. At the time, I had like a doubt. All in its voice let imagine the worse. The resumption had taken place with a lot of difficulties. Presumably, it was exhausted. Cheerful, comedy even during so long months since our meeting, it disconcerted me. I dreaded the worse, and I felt it collapsed!

It would have been more that likely that it could wonder to a séparation ? More the minutes went by, more I focused on this hypothesis. Lasting several hours, before eating reluctantly, I ruminated the worse scripts. I could not admit however, that Françoise could betray me. When I was delirious thus, I slapped myself to come back to the reason. If my wife was to this hypocritical and perverse point, then there, I wanted to don vicar's cassock. I able to well let intoxicate me by the romances of my imagination, but I never questioned Françoise.

After my lunch, I decided to install me behind my computer. All price needed me to cover my serenity and my calmness. It's a good thing we had bought some cartridges of cigarettes! Because since the morning, I was some to my second packet. I didn't want to write, but I forced myself all the same to escape my torments. I remained ten minutes sat, modifying constantly the progress of my script. I realized that my characters were following my black mood quickly. Soft and gracious in the original version, they became aggressive and revengeful as I imposed myself these minutes of writing.

Soudain, I realized that I was slipping on the bad slope. Indeed, while serving me another glass of digestive, I became aware of the gravity of the situation. The cigarettes, passed again. The alcohol, there, I had to not risk myself on this muddy path. Since I didn't succeed in finding the inspiration in my novel, it was necessary for me to fix my attention on something else. Because to the rhythm or I went there, I was going to take a beautiful firing! It was not the moment. My instinct pushed me to look for something in the apartment. What? Why sudden, this desire of inquisition? I had never snooped around in the drawers, where were arranged all documents of the household. I didn't discover anything that could have been susceptible to illuminate my lantern there. In the room then? Nothing in the cabinet, nothing in his/her/its nightstand... In mine maybe? The most complete emptiness.

I began to take hope, conscious that my imagination drove me well too far. Sudden, while arriving to height of the telephone, my attention was attracted by an envelope slipped under the answering machine. I had phoned two or three times, without even to see it. The doubt was not permitted, it passed the device sufficiently to have there been set down in the intention to be seen. My blood only made a tour, and I have been forced to sit me on the sofa to take my breath. I had in the hands an envelope, on which my first name was registered. The least tender word didn't come with it.

My eyes inflated themselves of tears, before even to have browsed this dramatic missive. I remained some minutes, pouring the too full of my emotion. Was this the letter of rupture that I dreaded since the morning? Courage. I had to surmount my pain imperatively, and to discover the key of this cruel enigma finally. I used another good glass of cognac. After having lit an umpteenth cigarette, I took my two-handed courage and deciphered this hieroglyph:

Why so much mystères ? I knew while writing these words, that I will never have courage to confess you that that since more of one year tears me the cSur. I was persuaded that sooner or later, you were going to discover the truth, what paralyzed me. After a lot of hesitations, I reached some to the solution extrême : to leave my use. I took appointment with my boss, who knew that since several months I was not to best of my condition. When I communicated him the medical reports, he/it didn't have any difficulty satisfying to my demand. He/it wanted to give me a holiday without balance of six months, but I didn't accept.

It is the only point that either positive for me. I will find without pain an equivalent station. Because you know it to have understood it, the ambiance to the office had become pestilential. I won't be there, when you will learn this terrifying news, as me dreads it since our departure in Dakar. Here is why I was not to best of my shape during this stay, yet idyllic in all point. The last exams in the month of June, let suppose the worse. Since the beginning of this year 91, I am in the doubt. No physician wants to invalidate to confirm the gravity of my illness. Still is him that today, I am going to be fixed once for all for all. I have appointment to 12h30 to the hospital, to know if yes or no the sizes that they removed me in 89 were cancerous or not.

to be sure not to establish any bad diagnoses, just before leaving to Dakar I underwent some withdrawals. The foreseen biopsies have been made and I will have the results today. I ask you for forgiveness my soft love, not to have had courage to speak you honestly and to announce you my concerns. I can only do homage to the devotion with which you expended much energy to maintain me to stream. I hope that God in his/her/its mercy, will save us an end as tragic. Because if it is not for me, it is for you that I cry while imagining the worse. Certainly, cancer is not more as dangerous as in the past.

Alas, he/it causes too many deaths again and it is while trembling facing this possibility, that I must to inform you. I ask you again a thousand times for forgiveness for this lack of courage. I was lost in your look, drowned in this torrent of happiness in which you dove me since the first day. I didn't feel strength to break such an aura of sweetness and tenderness. The only thing of which you can be certain, it is that I like you and adores you as I never had before you, the opportunity to appreciate it.

Some hours later, all went back in the order. Back home, Françoise had finally come out of its moral ghetto and the medical labyrinth. Relieved, relieved of this burden of the fear and the fear, she/it recovered the very day an extraordinary tonus. Proud, she/it waved while happening to the account returned of the physicians home. The analyses were negative. Not the least cancerous tumor trace. To stop the last urinary infections definitely, to preventive title more that curative besides, the professor had advised him to take some antibiotics during about fifteen days.

She/it was chiseled morally by this shooting and insidious illness. Tired to have to fight every day against the meanness in the office, torn to feel alone to face his/her/its martyrdom. She/it had let herself/itself go to a precipitate act. She/it bit the fingers of it and didn't know anymore how to make to make itself/themselves forgive. Far from blaming it, I forbade him to take contact with his/her/its boss to come back on his/her/its decision. To eliminate the last traces of guilt in his/her/its mind, I made him part of everything that I had endured in silence. The telephone calls and the anonymous letters... The reflections of my parachutées s " patients "... Without hate nor wrath, I spread before her the dusty carpet on which the detractors wiped themselves the feet. Who had promised to destroy our couple and pourquoi ?

For money, some sharks were ready to all, not hesitating to kill father and mother. They had not understood, and won't understand it probably ever, that without the least notion of love, money doesn't possess any intrinsic value. All work deserves salary, no one nor can must contest it. That some won more that of others, it was even acceptable; if it was justified of course.

as for those that spend their time speculating, to criticize, I can only formulate to their against a vSu of love and forgiveness. While reminding them that it is in the test and the suffering, and solely thanks to them, that the human values arrive to their apogee. No in the wealthiness and the appearance of a pseudo fame. No one can foretell anything. If it is easy to show the finger, and to despise instead of liking, it is harder to assume a happy and sincere life. As he/it is not ever too late to make well, is he/it maybe again time to modify some of these troublesome behaviors, who debase more that they don't valorize? There are only the silly that don't evolve!

Amaigrie, weakened, but happy, Françoise had need to make again a health. Since she/it was out of work, she/it had right well on some days of amply deserved rest. It was not of brightness of cSur, but I had to make abstraction of my personal comfort to his/her/its profit. Where, better than at his/her/its parents, could she/it eliminate the traces of this anguish? One week, fifteen days, or more, imported me little. I knew that it would be hard, separated of her, but it was not while turning in circle in the house without leaving, that she/it could have covered a better health. Because since his/her/its return, she/it didn't want to see no one and even less more being going to go for a walk. I didn't complain some well on the contrary, me that was rather the kind casanier.

We had even some savings, but without official resources, it was not necessary to skid on the sleet of the extravagance! More question to grant the least superfluous. Thanks to parents, once besides, we could honor our main deadlines. On my side, I shot of all wood to find an use. Too happy to be able, to provide alone to the needs of our home, finally. I would put to profit the absence of Françoise, to inquire me of the possibilities to this topic. Remained to convince my dulcinée, of the need imperative of this temporary separation. It was naturally for the good reason. I got to his/her/its place.

tolerance, the forgiveness, the sharing and the humility, thanks to the divine love, confirmed in these hours of solitude, the solidity of their foundations. It was not sufficient to reach the harmony, but a non negligible starting point. To replace the things and the events to their just value, to determine them in a coherent manner in a global, such context was my objective. To isolate itself/themselves as we had always made it in our cocoon of love, appeared obsolete.

It was absolutely necessary that we opened our cSurses in big. Not in a superficial and subjective manner, but on the contrary with the firm intention to give the best of ourselves. While paying to drink and to eat as we had made it until ici ? While offering of evenings without tail nor head of manner inconsidérée ? I achieved the weight of the ridicule and the absurd generated by this need of appearance.

Who, in our immediate setting, could speak of faith? Of God? Otherwise that with a cynical and reproachful smile? Were not we going to pass a classified ad nevertheless? Remained the solution of wisdom in this domain, and it was the one that I adopted not to fret me in vain calculations. Letting to the Almighty the care to guide us, I took my analyses personal comportementales. I filled in some days, of the whole pages of positives and negatives with my game on the order of the mind.

My life had been up to here the compliant copy of this adage, created by myself for the circumstance. I had had all possible lightings time and again on my road. Every time that I sank to the bottom of a ravine, I revolted, without admitting that he/it was sufficient me to open the eyes to see clear there. Opting for the easiness, I didn't embarrass myself of prejudices. To defect to be able to get victory, due to a lack of arguments, I used the violence. I was persuaded that she/it had allowed me to maintain me in life facing the other, and to the multiple dangers that I imagined. During this first left from my célibat " incontournable ", I felt my viscera to contort itself/themselves as soon as the anger went up in me.

After a cure of Youth of three weeks, Françoise came back in our big nest. Transcended, she/it radiated of all his/her/its being. She/it had taken her/its weight and finally, adhered to the idea that we had make some possible gossips only about his/her/its resignation. After all, each can offer to its manner himself one year sabbatique ? All the more reason to get round the obstacle. Didn't she/it want to leave more before his/her/its stay?

I could not forget everything that she/it had made for me. I didn't feel indebted, to the literary sense of the term, but I wanted to prove him my gratitude. I fought so that she/it succeeds in leaving his/her/its moral ghetto. It was for this reason, that I didn't worry about my professional appointments. Certainly, the coast of alert was already reached on the financial plan. In other times, me I would be pulled and I would have taken my tripes, to win a maximum of money with my commissions. It was not with the " fixe " of which I arranged, that I could have provided to our needs. It's a good thing there were the notes of expenses! Because it was not with what I had signed in contracts, that we could have lived. Let's say that in a few more of one month, I had won what to pay besides for our expenses anything.

This end of year 91, didn't announce itself under the best auspices. Registered out of work, Françoise had to wait for at least until January to receive his/her/its first salary. Because naturally this dear administration of unemployment made him a puncture of one complete month. A resignation, even for reason of health, placed the person in position of guilty party. To this title, she/it was penalized more or less by an ablation considerable on his/her/its salary. I bet that the non versed sum in Françoise, had to land " it accidentellement " in the pockets of one or two civil servants " honnêtes "! It was to us the same.

The economic crisis began to show the tip of his/her/its nose. Not finding any work, I followed the advices of Françoise while writing down me out of work at my turn. After all, even though it was only for six months, it permitted us to consider covering our minds and to prepare the future. His/her/its parents once again, flew to our help. Conscious that our finances were to the lowest, they advanced us more once of what to pay for our loads until the end of the year. The rest belonged us, all price that we show evidence of wisdom and level-headedness was necessary.

For it, we ate a roast or a chicken during all week. Meat, vegetable, cheese, at every meal we had what it was necessary. If unemployment had poured us our two wages in normal time, we would never, have suffered as much. We counted to the cent, whereas we waited for the remittance of more than six thousand francs! We were reduced to begging or nearly because of the defaulting of an administration. Misery, it is not anything. What became intolerable, it was the contempt with which one dealt our situation. More one tried to put the hiatuses of this administration forward, more one his/her/its spliced driven back in our last stoppings. This period will have been very hard, but oh how much beneficial!

God didn't hear it of this ear. We had separated it somewhat of our thoughts and very sensible He/it appeared. Not while sending us a postal mandate, no... Rather under shape of solution, to my conflict with money towards magnetism. Okay, people offered me what they wanted to every sitting. Of the two francs of a brave granny, to the hundred francs of some lucky patients, each let in the basket foreseen to this effect what he/it judged good. It was not visibly sufficient to pretend to have solved the problem definitely. The sufficiency was not synonymous okay perfect. To the least alert, I admit it fairly, the precariousness of this relative balance would have exploded.

once again, to my insu, The Almighty guided me toward what was, and home again today, the definitive solution. By the slant of an advertising insert, emanating a school of massage, we glimpsed the possibility to reconcile me with what I always considered as the curse of the twentieth century. The advertisement noted a formation on several months, the weekend, of graduate masseurs. It is while thumbing the pages of a local weekly, that I discovered this favorable circumstance.

Two days later, at the same time as the opinions of transfers of the wages, I could fill the file of the school. The massage, magnetism... The two children that we were, to consider the future of the best way, didn't need some more. What was necessary that we make to celebrate similar change? Salmon champagne naturally! God that this evening was divine.

Retrospectively, we related the chronology of the events. Thanks to Françoise, I had enrolled out of work. This lapse of time was going to permit me to change professional orientation. Like what all was foreseen altogether by God! Françoise, that had right to more of one year of unemployment, would have the time to make again a health. The same time, that would serve me to structure my new activity and to constitute me an interesting file. Of as much as my clientele became more and more regular and faithful.

By the intervention of a brave pensioner, reached of varicose ulcers punched to the two legs, I entered brutally in the action. It was necessary for me to surmount my apprehension on the one hand, but especially, to limit my work. It was the departure of a new structuring in my approach of the illness. " My patient suffers since more from ten years of varicose ulcers punched to the two legs, a lot more accentuated on the right tibia. The very intense out-flow is daily, and the pains are quick and permanent the day as the night. The itches embarrass it considerably. The right thigh is tense hyper, swollen (55 cm) and boiling permanently. A thick ganglion as the fist is visible to the fold of the right groin. The march is made laborious, the heel of the right foot not putting anymore on soil. She/it also endures respiratory and cardiac problems (operated of the cSur), currently coins anticoagulants. Pantings in case of efforts or forced movements. In spite of his/her/its husband's death she/it displays a good state of mind and a positivity extraordinaire " last year.

Since the following day, I began my sittings. Tension was to 14,8 / 9. Passes nits to big current, cradle, polar stretch. Then, considering the stagnation of the lymph, all price needed me to tempt to activate it. From where a different work on the Chakrases. Instead of starting with the 1st, I entered in action on the 7th and the next one while descending and no while going up. The quickest reactions occurred on the 5th, the 4th, and the 3rd. Since the fold of the right groin was plugged completely by this enormous ganglion, I tempted another action. Abandoning the activation of the first Chakra, that would be balanced itself by a failure between the pubis and the right foot, I tried to lessen the volume of size. Applying my right hand well to dish on the ganglion, I put my left hand to dish on the 2nd Chakra. By this position, I tried to re-establish the passage of the energy and the lymph between the leg and the underbelly.

After a quarter of hour, my patient felt like a current to browse him the leg and to go back up until the throat. The ganglion had decreased volume distinctly. The right thigh was a lot less hot, and some tingles appeared. Strong of the teachings pulled from the sittings passed with my other patients, I pursued with this idea of against current. My right hand enveloped my patient's right foot, while my left hand maintained itself on the umbilicus this time. The goal to reach being to stimulate the lymphatic circulation. I maintained the position a quarter of hour about, during which of the intense bubblings in the stomach, of the momenta in the thigh and to the fold of the groin appeared regularly.

size had reduced volume again. The pains in the leg had disappeared completely. A first pause " pipi " punctuated this first phase. Then, I did impositions on the two legs, hands to dish of part and others of the members. I descended since the groin until the feet, very slowly. I was able to then, to the term of this set that lasted ten minutes on average by leg, to try to open the 1st Chakra. It was not a total success, but a promising beginning. To feel it of my patient, revealed the presence of a minimum stream of energies. Immobile link, refill power station, energization the pancreas, the liver and the kidneys, were the next to last stage. I could dedicate my attention on the active homes, that let escape of the uninterrupted streams of pus.

crossing circular Impositions, bundle of the right hand, were during long minutes the only means of which I arranged to dam up these secretions. To the term of this first sitting, not only my patient didn't have any pain to the leg and to the foot, but the reddish plates were distinctly quick. The out-flows were stopped practically. The temperature of the right thigh had quite become again normal. The pressure had fallen to 13 / 8. Relieved, delighted and confident, my patient was in heaven. I took the precaution to inform it of the risks obvious of violent pains, in the hours to come and also during the first harms. The poor had suffered so up to here, without can make whatever it is to lessen the pains, that she was delighted to know that those to come were going to reveal the improvement in progress.

I began my second sitting then, identical in all point to the previous. I didn't want to change that that visibly, was carrier of an authentic hope. This time, I modified the chronology of my movements appreciably. I started by the opening of the folds of the groin, consistent of an energization of the ovaries. The cradle, the polar stretch came then. I disregarded the swing of the stomach, to the profit of a cranial application. I made my activations on the Chakrases, of the 1st at 7th this time, before coming back in prolonged application on the Chakra of the cSur ; my calm right hand to dish between the sternum and the nipple, but without placing my left hand on the forehead.

drank It of this action being to encourage a better energizing and circulatory exchange in the region of the cSur. Freeings almost everywhere in the body reinforced the opportunity of this application. As well as of the very strong tingles in the infested zones. Once I had done the totality of the movements, I decided to accentuate my efforts on the right foot, particularly reactive during this second sitting.

Partant of the summit of the muscle previous tibial, where was located the purulent home epicenter, I descended in rotating imposition since the knee until the fingers of foot. I freed the last blockages then under the heel and Achille's tendon. While alternating the bundles crossing and those of only one hand on all sides of the concerned zones. The reactions in the stomach, the leg and a few in the arms were present during all this phase. To the term of this second sitting, if tension had not moved, my patient could put the foot on the floor without feeling the least hindrance.

However, without informing of it to him, I felt something bizarre in her. All in his/her/its attitude, opposed the reactions that I was able to hope. Far from showing an enthusiasm moreover legitimate, she/it penetrated on the contrary in a way of lethargy. To every sentence, she/it spoke of her/its husband. She/it nearly felt guilty of his/her/its death. This aspect frightened me at the time, not seeing how I was going to be able to help it to back out of these lugubrious thoughts. I ignored that she/it resigned herself/itself. She/it refused the fight and wanted to let itself die. She/it didn't confess it to me in an absolute manner, but by scraps of words more or less hidden, I could establish this alarming synthesis.

The oppression on the rib cage translated to it only the impact of this abrupt attitude towards his/her/its husband. The lungs, on the energizing plan, represent the tristesse ! The cSur, the pain and the suffering. The liver and the bladder finally, symbolize the anger and the retained anguishes. What imposed me a strict modification in the progress of my sitting. The struggle against the anguish, the relaxation and the nervous détente, imposed themselves before all other intervention. Then, pacified once, I could take the normal course of the sitting. To the term of this one, all seemed gone back in the order.

in the evening same, while relating the facts to Françoise, she/it took the initiative to invite the granny for the following Sunday. Not question to abandon it in such a state of disarray. Progressively, after a dozen of sittings, the state of mind gave some signs as much as the physical very encouraging of stabilization. Granny had lost more than four kilograms, and the measures attested the stability of his/her/its état : the right thigh measured 50 cm instead of the 55 initial. The out-flows had stopped and the three quarters of the wounds had healed up.

The granny, having recovered his/her/its tonus, undertook to do a journey organized in Holland. She/it asked me for my opinion nevertheless, in order to not to compromise the evolution of his/her/its recovery. I was not reassured very. I didn't announce him none of my doubts. I felt at her, like a premonitory desire way to destroy itself/themselves.

UPON his/her/its return, God made me become aware of my limits. Having abused his/her/its strengths, and somewhat of the good tables, my patient was in a pathetic state. The legs had doubled volume, the reactivated wounds let escape again of the purulent streams. When she/it arrived to her/its appointment, I felt disarmed, impotent.

An unknown strength forbade me to tempt whatever it is. There, that I understood where the end of my action was. To admit his/her/its limits, and to recognize the potential risks humbly to want to impose itself/themselves to all price, I discovered the kindness of it. I didn't want to take my patient's life especially in game. The thoughts that came me in this instant, were to imagine a lymphatic cancer. What were the messages that we had to interpret granny and moi ?

Immediately, calling on a specialist friend in lymphologie, I confided my brave small granny with more practiced hands. In the evening same, my friend accepted to come at home to examine the granny. He/it was indeed time!

She/it drove herself my patient by him. Alas, according to this very big specialist, the odds of recovery were minute. The tight cSur, the thrills browsed me the spine when I learned my friend's mouth, that my granny was probably condemned. Gangrene, horrible and cruel, had undertaken its destruction. To learn it, the day of my massage exam, had of what to undermine me the state of mind. The day or precisely, I passed my diploma. My friend had not taken any precaution and even less smallest care to my consideration. She/it announced me the news coldly, between the windows of our cars immobilized one next to the other.

It was especially for me, the indisputable proof of the possible result and complementarity, between the science and magnetism. Ingenuously, my patient spoke of it to the surgeons! When she/it announced me their answers, I became aware of the hiatuses that remained to fill, before the union between the two strengths becomes efficient. The humility, imposed me not to enter in conflict. The future would tell us if yes or no, the unconditional of Hypocrate would admit one day that the human body doesn't depend solely on the only knowledge of medicine. The energy that governs the working of the metabolism has its strict, as formal laws that the rules of ethics of the medical science.

until granny can be able to walk normally, we organized my new cabinet home. Françoise, proud and delighted, prepared me the better land that I could not have made it. Business cards, advertising announcements, she/it put all in Suvre to permit me to create my clientele in massage. My sittings with my patients, were the reflection of that that would be my activity to come. Magnetism, then massage, and all that for an unique price.

TO my insu, she/it undertook to meet a publisher, in order to take a compilation of poems. She/it especially wanted I think, to exorcise the pain that was latent in her. While publishing a part of my texts, she/it proved to all that we were not even dejected. It was not the best formula, but when I have been put informed, he/it was too late. She/it wanted to thank me for the love of which I surrounded it, she/it said a roguish air.

As we continued to believe in the Santa Claus all two, we took the promises that had been made us by the publisher's friend journalist at face value. For the exit of the compilation, we had invited it, with some relations, for an aperitif of circumstance. While listening it to speak, I let myself make gray by the illusions, generated by so much complaisance to my consideration. Article, broadcast radio and that know me again, I was offered gracefully to make know my compilation.

I understood my wife's wrath, while asking him to let people for what they were. So God had not judged good to grant me the least advertisement for the compilation, we had beautiful all to tempt, nothing would ever be made in this sense. Especially not with a broken arm team like the one that we had frequented until there. The things had to come true of themselves. I had to stem somewhat my legitimate wrath towards this " journaliste bidon ". I whispered to Françoise that the day come, The Almighty would confide our littéraire " future " between the hands of professionals. No of amateurs playing the cadors. Easy to improvise itself/themselves to report, animator radio or God knows what title snoring, of which people kind enjoyed to their manner.

I could do without these speculators. Motivated by the undersides of table that by the values that they were able to put in broad daylight. To prove it to me, The Almighty offered me a royal gift. Through the intermediary of a retirement home, I could offer to a floor moved of white heads, a really moving recital. The aged people, since always for Françoise and me, were venerated and respected. This opportunity to satisfy them and to address them a small friendly sign, warmed me the cSur and permitted them to feel beloved. Would not be that that the space of some hours, to the course of which I protested with devotion my favorite texts, as much as the last creations.

blows It of the compilations on which we counted a trifle nevertheless, to make know me as poet but also, as masseur by the same opportunity, was for least faltering. The drama with Françoise was that very quickly his/her/its health took a stroke of it. As soon as his/her/its state of mind lowered, his/her/its metabolism got in lethargy and the problems emerged. My regular absences of the domicile for reason of work, put me a case of conscience. Had to I persevere in this direction? I didn't win some fortunes but in some weeks, my clientele to the fitness allowed me to have an income nearly correct.

It was the beginning of a slow agony for me. In spite of the good small clientele that me I was built, I felt with the passing of the days biggest difficulties to preserve my dignity. As I refused to mix me to the basket of crabs, I have been put quickly on the key. Forty or nearly, defamatory gossips by my customers, and naturally progressive loss of my patients. The jealousy, the mediocrity, overcame my patience and my indifference quickly. I wanted to make the maximum, but to the impossible no one is held.

I abandoned magnetism more or less by the strength of the things. I needed costs that costs to elaborate the structure of the massage. Was this the good solution ? When I relived the strong moments crossed the previous year, in ninety-one, and the wealths of the teachings that I brought my patients, I felt a certain nostalgia. As much I felt " au cSur of my mission " during this period, as much in this year ninety-two I looked for my way. I was not anymore a hypnotiser, and I was far from being a masseur confirmé !

more and more tense , I assumed my mission with difficulty. My sittings were only the shade of that that I was able to bring truly. I could not make the emptiness anymore in me. Every second of the day I was obsessed by the suffering of my divine Françoise. My patients were remarkable of love and tenderness. Aware of the situation, they tried best that they were able to give us the courage. Each their sound side, they intended to intervene by their private relations to find an occupation in Françoise.

An umpteenth thriller novel arrived. The isolation became very quickly a hell. More available for Françoise, I surrounded it with a maximum of affections. Our couple was on the bad slope. She/it became revengeful, not to say aggressive. Distant, she/it didn't grant me the least instant of tenderness anymore. We didn't have a sexual intercourse since a good twenty days. Lean, collapsed, she/it didn't succeed anymore in taking the over. Difficult in those cases, not to panic. Yet, I resisted best that I was able to. How could I contradict the faits ? Since nearly one year, she/it got the same refusals, the same dismissals, and especially, the same contempt in the answers.

I had beautiful to try to recommend him to make the effort and to take on her, nothing availed. In the state where she/it was, I was conscious of it, she/it would never succeed in finding the least occupation. Blasé of the same remarks, allusions or déguisées s " propositions ", she/it felt more and more useless. Too old for the some, too " fidèle " for the other, she/it was walked of an appointment to the other, with the same failure to the key. Of promises in tests, of illusions in disappointments, she/it walked in automaton on these steep trails sprinkled of ambushes.

Return to the starting point! A besides. Questioning my capacities, as much that of my faith, I began to despair. I didn't succeed anymore in re-establishing the normality in the energy of Françoise. Of the hours and hours during, I fought all my strengths. Without arriving to anything else, that a weak improvement. We slipped mutually on the downward way. This slippery slope on which we dragged every day more, drove us inexorably in darkness of the depression. It was necessary to react, to make whatever to leave this ghetto before he/it is too late.

Acculés back in our last stoppings, very often side by side on the balcony, we looked at the emptiness with the secret hope to put an end on our days. To what did we serve in this world? Were we early or late in relation to the entire humanity? We looked like two old men. The drawn features, chiseled by the grief and the anguish, we sank more every day in the meanders of the doubt and the uncertainty.

does have Only, where to watch, toward whom himself tourner ? The desert of indifference spread around us his/her/its carpet of injustice. We were emptied so, bloodless and resourceless of resources, that we waited for the end. For the first time since the beginning of our love, I felt the prémices of the fall again in the hells. With my to stretch Françoise, I had promised of never again to let go me in such a pessimism. I became aware during this lapse of energy, of the importance that she/it represented for me. His/her/its smile, his/her/its love, his/her/its burst, gave me an extraordinary dynamism.

When she/it was in such a state of abandonment, I didn't have any resource. Hand in hand, unite like on the most beautiful days of our love, we trained toward the abysses of the despair. Our beautiful Eden looked like a public discharge. Everything that surrounded us, up to here donned of a marvelous burst, was drab and without life. All the more reason to suppress them and to rid us of these snide and obsolete objects. Yet, even this vSu to escape this hostile environment, was not granted. Breaking the prices, yet sacrificing the values real, us didn't even sell of what to eat one day or two.

While waiting, thanks to our friend's patience, we got used to this idea to find an use that would permit us to work together soon. It was in this sense that we oriented our prayers. The state of mind came back mildly. Did we deplore a lack of friendship in our entourage ? God offered us the divine love, embodied by this brave Granny. We were taken in charge by her that, regularly, took us at the country or to the restaurant.

Vivre for oneself, and no for or through others, was the lesson that it was necessary for us to learn. Vivified, purified, we displayed another frame of mind quickly. Our couple recovered its automatic devices. The tenderness, the cuddly, poetry, all became again normal. At less than one month of Christmas, he/it was time! Magnetism also recovered him, his/her/its strength and his/her/its nobility. I took confidence in me thanks to Françoise that now, answered my sittings favorably. Dynamisée, revived, she/it took the weight and his/her/its state of mind was steadier. She/it feared her/its professional steps with quite another frame of mind.

one morning, she/it got ready in the bathroom. Abandoning my computer, I browsed the weekly where I had found the announcement of the massage school quickly. Why sudden this desire bizarre to thumb this newspaper? The answer was going to arrive immediately me. " Local to louer "! The Almighty's message I arrived with strength. There is what we were going to make! To open a center of massage and relaxation. The announcement clearly stipulated the details of the equipment of which the local was provided. Sauna, solariums, jacuzzi... While reading this providential insert, my cSur started beating the chamade.

The law of the finance, incontournable, put its veto. The good will cannot serve to anything, if one doesn't have any adequate means. The cynicism of this truth made me cold in the back. More I looked for a solution, more I skated in the semolina. I advanced a small step, to move back two. The dream began to dim in my head. Non happy not to have a solution, I had in more to surmount the obstacle of my own woman.

My ruse did she/it have functioned? At this precise moment, I was far from can affirm it. Who more are, left once, I was not very at ease in a position. I didn't have the time to ask me well a long time the question. Five minutes hardly after having left me, she/it came back to the apartment like a fury. Farewell appointment can, hello the hope and the future! This about-face let me aghast. Taken to my own game, I lacked arguments to give him the retort. This time, gone back up to block, she/it took the things in hand. Passing the doubt to the euphoria on his/her/its turn, she/it displayed an outstanding determination. Immediately, beating iron while he/it was even hot, she/it took appointment with the owners of the local in view of one visit... The very afternoon!

Some hours later, the roles were reversed. While visiting the local, I died of desire to shout my happiness. Respecting my speech towards Françoise, I didn't make anything of it. It was then the apotheosis. Far from all waiting, Françoise in person let itself carry away by the gracious whirlwind that allowed him to leave the present. I remained some purified first of all, before leaving to join it on his/her/its fairy dreaming cloud. Here, we could make this... Over there, we would install this... My cabin of massage would be very well in this piece... In this corner, why install not a cloakroom? ... To every place, it was the same explosion of happiness.

The challenges didn't frighten us. With what we had crossed, this obstacle didn't appear insurmountable. This end of day, after one visit in all point make gray, did punctuate itself of the best way that either; useless to specify to what us is delivered us that evening? ... Salmon champagne naturally! Taking advantage of the velvety ambiance that surrounded us during our dinner, we made walk our brains to hundred on time. What name would our center carry? Because it was necessary to baptize our new child well? Of the oddest propositions to those honestly comic, we finally agreed on the future logo of our institute. I didn't need some more to motivate me to the task. Once Françoise in bed, I got to the work. I wanted to take the first models of the business cards. Very late that night, exhausted but happy, I came to join the sweetness of the body of my dulcinée, while asking God of ever to separate of it to me.

In the biggest secret, I pursued my research, in order to establish an efficient investigating means concerning health. The massage, by his/her/its direct action on the metabolism, via the activation of the muscular tonus, the dead cell peeling, and the kindness on the venous and lymphatic system, would punctuate my sittings of magnetism perfectly. It was necessary to find the means of landing absolutely to my defaulting, concerning anamnesis. To pass the theory to the practice, to establish a precise and concise summary of the state of health of my patients, such was my ambitions. Since very soon, I will have the heavy responsibility to assure the everlastingness of our center, it was essential that I undertake my activity with a more in relation to the other practitioners. The competition to this level, was pitiless.

The energizing testing to him only, allowed me to establish schematically, a precise enough profile on the vital function value. Quickly, some days before the official opening of the center, I elaborated with a certain pride, my first " bilan énergétique ". After having made the tour of magnetic horizon of the Chakrases, I proceeded to the kinésiologique " inspection " of the rest of the body and the vital functions.

In the same time, I familiarized myself with the progress of the energy in the corps : the meridians delivered to me little by little their secrets. I had bought for the circumstance, an inflatable doll! Not to amuse me with, but to draw to the felt the course of the meridians. A steaming anecdote comes me to the mind about this doll. When I spoke of it in Françoise, she/it has first of all been surprised, then she/it adhered to my project. We left in a sex - shop! I was green of shame.

In less than one week, after a legal and administrative marathon, we could see the tip of the tunnel. All official documents were signed. As soon as we had the keys, a work of titan announced itself. After four years of closing, although kept partially, the local needed a serious discount in condition. We needed this fifteen days well before the opening, to give back them an appropriate pace. Nearly all the money that we had in reserve, more a part of the November pay was dedicated to the indispensable purchases: cloakrooms, bathrobes, vacuum cleaner, machine to coffee, material of office, case etc.. With a minimum of expenses, the decoration was it improven as distinctly.

Because, and I realized it, facilities were not at all conform to the well stocked indications; himself needed some! The file customers who had to be transmitted were us also absent him. After the euphoria of the first hours a shooting and exhausting test of discount in causes nailed us there. The reality, unpacked his/her/its stream of doubts and anguish blindly. While examining the notebook of appointment, I felt the biggest difficulties to swallow my saliva. It was not the worse. Beyond the merely materialistic aspect, he/it reigned an atmosphere a little bizarre in the center.

Why, whereas he/it affirmed a monthly profitability of near twenty thousand francs, did the owner have closed the former institute close to four years? Something didn't glue the all anymore. Without showing evidence of a pessimism exaggerated, we had had sudden the dangerous certainty of us to be made fool. To say that we had not made any advertisement! How, in a popular district certainly, but real city - dormitory, were we going to make to create a clientele? Abandoning my chimerical calculations, Françoise decided to make a solarium. After all, as much to benefit of facilities ourselves, for lack of clientele!

The first fifteen took place on the same tempo that the first day, in the most total moroseness and the permanent anguish. We had made the beautician's acquaintance, to that we had rented a piece recently. She/it had to begin the following month. What would lessen somewhat our loads, and gave back us a sprig of hope. He/it remained a thing only to make, to throw itself/themselves fervently in the battle. It was to what we committed. The transfer having become reality, helped us to forget our worries.

outside of my patients usual, no other customer had not come to make itself/themselves massage. The few rare persons concerned in sauna and solarium, were disgusted quickly. The tubes were out of use, and grilled skin. The sauna, only functioned with a body of fire-chamber, on the six existing. So that he/it is more or less to good temperature, between eighty and ninety degrees, it was necessary to wait for more than four hours! As for the jacuzzi, he/it produced such an uproar that he/it had the customers escaped. Once besides, the reality passed our most modest expectations. We ever, made bitterly the report of it, we would not succeed in living with the money of facilities.

Seven days out of seven, we fought with an incredible energy to allow our center to start. The returns were not really the reflection of our work. In fifteen days, we had not cleared the rod of the two thousand francs again! Twenty-four hours per day to all two, for a daily average worth hundred francs about turnover! Just of what to pay home for the rent. Fortunately, we kept the state of mind. Far from embarking us in the meanders of the doubt, we overflowed with imagination to make fructify our efforts. Didn't the first advertisements again have anything given?

The balance of the first eight weeks of activity, was not really antidepressant. The beautician had started her activity. With her, of entry, we felt that the reports would not center. Far from having a clothed clientele as she/it pretended it to the signature of his/her/its contract, she/it would not linger to show signs of weakness towards his/her/its rent. That that, added to the subjects held by our friend medium, reinforced our fears for the future. According to the seer, the center was implied in dark business of suit. Here is why he/it had been closed apparently during four years on decision of justice.

As we had took the engagement of it before the opening, we made of straightaway confidence to the craftsmen of the district. While hoping secretly that they would send back us the bullet! What explained the number impressive of guests, planned for this small feast. The last days before the aperitif, all appeared marvelous. Everybody greeted us, smiled us, and with Françoise we were freed of the obsessions that haunted us. We were surprised all the same, to note that person among the guests, didn't condescend to clear the door of the center! Would they make it maybe after the aperitif?

Some minutes later we desisted! Well pain had taken of it to us to organize this flipping glass of the friendship! Because alas, while arranging the thickest of the business, we discovered stunned with Françoise, a number impressive of small blackish wads scattered in all pièces ; including the sauna, the solariums, and the jacuzzi. Not question to put in doubt the maintenance work of Françoise. Who, in this case, could not really have put down these small memories very Catholics to our eyes? Non happy to have opened in a local whose past appeared us doubtful, here is that someone showed its desire to harm.

Very quickly with my pendulum, I discovered terrorized that these wads were bewitched. We were in beautiful sheets! The state of mind, the desire to pursue, died out that evening. Demoralized, distraught, we didn't know anymore on what foot how to dance. While going back home, I began to feel the prémices of the fatal activity of the balls. A first migraine, assault, shook me in all my to be. What did The Almighty make? Why did he/it permit such misdemeanors? In these moments of pain, of a rare intensity, I was ready to make whatever. If I had held the or the person responsible of this infamous seed, I believe well that I would have made some the flesh to pâté.

Toward the mid - February, I was taken daily of violent migraines, just as strong that those of Dakar and before, at the time of my meeting with God. Every evening, during at least two or three hours, I endured the martyrdom. Taken of nauseas, then of vomits, I strolled like a mad in the apartment. On several occasions, Françoise had gone to look for the help of a night physician. Because to lessen our loads, we had had our telephone lines cut home. By three times, at the time of even more violent crises, my to stretch wife sped along in the icy night in quest of a telephone. Since the day I didn't suffer, I was content with resigning me on my fate. I was well far from intercepting the smallest message! Worse, I dove again again in the swamps of the revolt towards The Almighty. How many times could I threaten all to send on the roses?

In less than four months, I had partially succeeded my bet. I had a good small clientele in massage, and for her, I didn't have the right to weaken. Despising my cruel nocturnal pains, I disregarded an a lot more selfish manner the state of health of my poor Françoise. Traumatized to the idea that it can happen to me something serious, she/it gnawed herself/itself the state of mind and exhausted itself in his/her/its anguish. I refused to be going to consult a physician. My migraines would pass, as they had come. It was what I believed!

More I persisted in my relentlessness to refuse an outside help, more the sufferings increased. The crises sometimes lasted from twenty-one hours at three o'clock in the morning. I only slept some hours after having collapsed me, floored by fatigue and the pain. My soft treasure, as I could be stupid and ridiculous. More I persisted in holding head to the pain, more you penetrated in the anguish to see me lying definitely. I was content with the uncertain versions that provided me Françoise, to justify his/her/its own shaky health state. According to her, only the money troubles, and they didn't miss that is true, were to the origin of his/her/its moral and physical weakness.

Profitant of vacations of Easter we threw our last strengths in the fight. He/it became imperative to modify the structures of our thick baby. The lighting, the decoration, was our warhorse. In less than one week, the center was born again of its ashes. Thanks to a relation, naturopathe, my migraines had stopped. The new departure was announced. Our merciful God, to encourage us and to stimulate us probably, brought us the proof of his/her/its tolerance mind and his/her/its infinite love. In some days, the customers arrived in mass; massages, facilities... The sun finally shone inside the center. Immediately, our faith went back up the slope.

Our reports with the beautician having deteriorated definitely, we decided to put an end to our collaboration. After all, and it was a part of the message that we succeeded in decoding, we had to only count on ourselves same. We had to put all our tripes in the new contest. For that to make, we had not been afraid of the hours of presence. We had programmed three nocturnes every week until midnight! All price was necessary, rentabiliser facilities. Conscious that the people who finished their work late would be maybe happy to come to make a sauna after twenty hours, we bet all on these new arrangements.

work didn't panic us, far from there. He/it had even become our unique ally. While investing us the way, we overlooked the negative thoughts of our minds. It happened to us at this time, after closing one evening of nocturne, to total some returns of... Twenty francs! Thirty-two hours of presence at two for only twenty bullets of number! It was necessary that we are unconscious, for lack of to speak of courage, to persevere in our enterprise. Because to the term of the sixth month of activity, the balance was not always gleaming.

The reputation of seriousness us surrounding, in a profession and an environment carriers of too many insinuations, underlined the efforts that we had agreed to this level. Separating to length of day the thirsty of sex and erotic massage, we had ousted the adepts of the sweep - party of the sauna and the jacuzzi in the same way. To the term of these first six months, everybody knew that we were, and what we wanted.

not being concerned, at no moment we didn't feel aimed. In good or in pain, the essential was that one speaks of us. These subjects little honorary didn't reach us therefore. I would say that it was a stimulant. More we heard the gossips, to stream in the gutters, more us brought to our patients and our setting, the picture of a serenity to all test. We were welded one to the other, insulated to the insidious attacks. More interdependent and happy that ever, in spite of the weight of our sufferings, we accepted the tests worthily. However, the lucidity didn't leave us.

Since this instant, I understood that the bankers were not made to help the small enterprises. In France, a popular byword is very revealing to this sujet : " Ce is not when one made in his/her/its trousers, that it is necessary to tighten the fesses " ! This dear financial speculator had waited wisely that we are dived in the meanders of our problems, to spread his/her/its ability and to envelop us in our begging poor coat. The cynicism with which he/it addressed us these biting reproaches, crucified us there. Some years before, I would have smashed him the skull. Sounded, asphyxiated, I accused the stroke of flinching. There is no doubt that this time, we were well only Françoises and I. So God didn't want that the adventure continues, we would not try anymore to persist.

Timidly, in addition to this survey on the antenna, I had make an approach with the Tao of the Revitalization. The Taoism was again a dark trifle, but I felt that it spoke to me. It is for this reason that Françoise had offered me the book of Doctor Stéphen CHANG, medicated of the Tao. Limited financially, I was not able to either to invest me in a costly therapeutic formation. I surveyed the " least expensive colloques s " therefore, and naturally, every time I had the bitter feeling of me to be made have. Remained my fluid, unique mate, ultimate hope.

having concealed my magnetism, by fear to panic people of the district, up to here more or less I began a new gait. I felt stronger, and especially, capable to distinguish with my hands, the energizing deficiencies. It was new and I had taken note of this possibility, nearly accidentally. At one moment of doubt more accentuated that of custom, I had skimmed a patient's stomach. As soon as my right hand had come to stand his/her/its pancreas above, I felt the palm of my hand to freeze itself/themselves.

This meeting was a decisive turn. The antenna to Lick, my hands of the other, on one hand a new dimension was born in the practice of my magnetism. Françoise the first it went from oneself, can realize of the subtlety with which I could determine henceforth with precision and value the same way, the organic dysfunction degree.

The changes on the plan professionals, never arrived alone and cleared on various horizons. As soon as I became aware of elements carriers of hopes with the divine fluid, I immediately had a no one with that to put it in practice. This is how we made a woman's acquaintance, that went chambouler our life. Nice, comely, and attractive at the same time, she/it embodied what missed us. The friendship, shone sudden of one thousand fires.

in spite of the appearance that she/it wanted to give her, I saw good that his/her/its state of health was not more mirobolants. Introvert, egocentric, she/it tried above all to domineer our couple. Very quickly, she/it had succeeded some in imposing his/her/its laws, so much concerning management of the center, that with regard to our leisures. Françoise was in heaven, happy to have a friend finally to that to confide. I didn't see it of this Sil and I took my distances enough quickly.

Always he/it is that while crossing this period, he/it was impossible to me to put Françoise in guard. As soon as I made him part of the dangers that we incurred while binding us with his/her/its friend, she/it got in anger. I didn't have the right to break his/her/its hopes! She/it was however conscious of the ubiquity of this real human tornado.

It was exactly if we could go to the toilets without his/her/its authorization. With the passing of the days, she/it appeared more and more indispensable. She/it acted of the same way with everybody. He/it was vital for her to feel the other to his/her/its mercy, dependent of the services that she/it returned, without preparing his/her/its pain he/it is true. I didn't insist therefore with Françoise, thinking that sooner or later she/it would go account to what galley she/it had put the feet.

So, thanks to the antenna to Lick, my energizing balance became indeed coherent. While measuring, with this device, the different electromagnetic frequencies of the main organs and the Chakrases, I could consider bringing the adequate improvements. Thanks to the Taoism, of which I began to master the main movements, I entered in a new setting of therapy. People had to take themselves in charge.

This abrupt absenteeism, inspired to me an energy salvatrice. Far from taking of it to me to the Almighty, for once, I began to question me severely again. I looked for that that clochait in my manner to act. Françoise knew it for a long time, but kept well to communicate it to me. It was necessary, she/it was conscious of it, that it is I that analyze and understands. To be certain not to see to sink me in the negativism, God confronted me with another aspect of the grant that he had bestowed me.

through the intermediary of the friend of Françoise and our friend astrologer, I was able to for the first time, " visualiser an entité ". The woman had appointment with me for a sitting of magnetism. She/it came back of at the astrologer. While arriving to the center, I felt very quickly that she/it was not in her/its plate. The bewitchment was present and didn't make any doubt. The sitting started quickly. I was unloading the solar plexus, when sudden, a man's face set before me. I have first of all been impressed, before panicking.

Stays me in prey to an any hallucination? Not of the all. The entity followed me in each of my displacements. The stage lasted during long minutes. As I struggled with this bust ghost, the well - be got settled in my patient. To the term of this feeling sitting the pain had disappeared at my patient. At the same time as the entity had vanished. I learned some days later, what had just happened.

Since that day however, I promised of never again to approach this spiritual dimension. I wanted some for proof, the therapist's death that had taught me the practice of the antenna to Lick. For him, it was a way of drug that to converse with the beyond. He/it determined his/its therapies according to the indications provided by his/her/its entities. By dint of to play with fire one ends up this brûler ; he/it paid it of his/her/its life after atrocious sufferings.

what incited me to the biggest circumspection to this topic. To answer present as I had made it to help made part of my mission. Of there to make a specialty of it no thank you, without way! To understand this phenomenon of entity better, I refer to the definition of the énergie : " Un private body of energy, is a to have died and an energy without body, it is a fantôme " ! That day, I knew that that was a ghost. This anecdote, replaced me on my rails.

Some days before Christmas, of this year ninety-three, the owner died. To the term of one year of working of the center, and the day of our first birthday, he/it disappeared, letting us in the expectation of a less favorable continuation. I took his/her/its death like an invitation to open the eyes in big. He/it was time of recadrer the things and replace them in their real context. I had made thick progress I admitted it modestly.

I had with regard to the potential of which I arranged in magnetism, a way of visceral skepticism. I didn't question some results, but I bestowed them a lot too easily to God, that, by my mediator, allowed people to cover a well - be. The personal work done by the patient himself, reinforced this notion of receding in relation to the realities. In clear, I didn't manage to convince me of my real capacities. Of as much with difficulty, that the results gotten with the only magnetism very often remained abstract, invisible or nearly in look of the common of the mortals that I was.

to convince Me myself, there is what missed me all stupidly. It was the divine gift that God brought me in this last day of the year 1993. We were at the center with Françoise. Most my patients knew it, we had foreseen to spend our Christmas Eve of the St. Sylvestre... In our jacuzzi! A manner like another to bury this eventful year. Some among them had brought us champagne, the salmon, the cakes, very gently. Of what to celebrate this new year worthily. Only has, at the last minute stays up it, before closing, nearby the bosses of the bar had invited us at home for aforesaid Christmas Eve. Touched by this delicate attention us had accepted with enthusiasm. We were therefore with Françoise, finishing to adorn us at the center.

not to take the risk to speak to all patient that called us us had put the answering machine. We especially dreaded to fall on a team of bringueurs, who would be invited themselves to join us. It is for this reason that in less than one hour, we let our interlocutors greet us by interposed answering machine. We had appointment toward twenty hours. He/it was a few more of nineteen hours. We smoked a cigarette quietly, casting our eyes on our thick baby to which us was us very strongly attached.

My divine Françoise, vivid of beauty, was next to the compound. Sudden, as he/it had already made it a good twenty time since less than one hour, the telephone sounded again. Instinctively, without putting itself/themselves of question, Françoise answered the call. His/her/its face decomposed itself. Very close to panic she/it passed me the device. To the other tip, a shaky voice inquired about the situation. This poor woman, like all mistresses of house at similar hour, was preparing the feast. She/it had just put his/her/its hand on a plate vitrocéramique! It was one of his/her/its friends, patient naturally, that had said him to call me. She/it knew that we were there, since she/it had brought us two barquettes of salmon notably.

Immediately, I came with it on the table of cares. Without even to take the time to solicit the Almighty's kindliness, I began my sitting. The first mission, was to lessen the effects of stress and the pain. Passes to big current, scattering to the level of the Chakrases 3 and 4, bundle on the hypophysis, were my first reflexes. Right hand on the stud farm, left hand under the occiputs, I tempted to loosen the column then by this slant to avoid to ask my patient to turn around. Me dynamisais the first two Chakrases intensely after five minutes, to increase the potential Yin ; the pain being of origin Yang, while exercising a massive contribution of Yin I hunted a part of the positive excess.

I punctuated this first set by a crossing cranial imposition, in view of réguler the working of the hypothalamus. Then, I began my work on the hand. Impositions turn, bundles, passes nits of the shoulder to the hand. Under the action of magnetism, my patient pushed several times of the pain scream. I had warned it very fortunately. More, I concentrated, more I saw to disappear the blisters and the redness.

to warn a possible state of shock, following upon an abrupt increase of the pain, I alternated this work on the arm and the hands by a relaxation : inches under umbilicus and middle of the forehead, then hand to dish under the navel and the other on the forehead. Tensions reduced, the pain disappeared progressively. New set of passes, bundle, application or rotating impositions on the hand, a lot less sensitive.

immobile Link, refill power station, cradle, then again a last set of manipulations on the hand. After thirty minutes of sitting, all had gone back in the order. The pains? Fly! The phlyctènes? Extinct! Only, an all small bladder stayed to his/her/its adult's extremity. I perspired to thick drops. I let my patient take a rest some minutes and left to join my small adored woman.

The message had just been intercepted. I had just seen my own eyes, the beneficial and indisputable effects of magnetism. Not question to put them in doubt. The victim was not there for anything I was conscious of it. Traumatize by the pain, she/it had something else to think that to get in state of receptiveness! Not one instant, nor before nor during the sitting, I had not solicited God's presence. Therefore... He/it was time that finally, I admit the good founded of the power of which I arranged. I noted in more a spectacular change in my manner to include me.

Fort of this precious acquirement, we began the year 94 with a more realistic vision. Thanks to Françoise essentially, that calmed my fears not to have any more customers, we tempted to elaborate a method of harmonization in our minds. Anything was not necessary to wait of whoever, especially not of gratitude. With the setback of my patient of the Christmas Eve, the things appeared more obvious to me. This brave lady, had not paid for a cent. She/it didn't even have the gentleness to make my wife carry a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolate!

When we got of his/her/its news, by the patient who had sent it, us learned no without a certain agitation that she/it was the wife of a big physician and herself nurse! Far from making bound me, I took act of this mentality with a big diplomacy. To let people for what they were, there is the message that it was necessary for me to hear. To the bottom, my only reward, and from afar the most important, was happiness to feel me finally truly installed in my hypnotiser's skin.

I relived the other instants of happiness, to which I had escaped with other patients. The sSur of our friend astrologer above all, reached of a lupus, that has been attenuated to more of sixty percent. Harmonization of the Chakrases, energizing balancing polarizing, massage of the stomach and the back, was during nearly six months, the weekly cares that I did with this patient. She/it was in total inability of work, and today she/it works to hundred percent.

Another patient, was victim of a proliferation of prolactine. This substance produced by the hypophysis was in monstrous excess. Instead of the eight hundred normal units, she/it was to more of five one thousand. Reduced to less than three one thousand after four sittings only. Four very intense sittings, to the course of which I essentially worked in bundle on the hypophysis, accentuating the effects with a powerful magnetic look accompanied by a sentence asking for the extraction of the blockages to the origin of this dysfunction.

The forecastings being hardly optimistic, he/it became imperative to vary our activities. Françoise again her, gave me an interesting idea. Why consider not putting on feet of the collective exercises of Taoism? Several patients had made me understand already that only, they didn't succeed in motivating itself/themselves. Françoise in first not to name it! The exercises of the Tao of the revitalization, that I mastered enough well, had to allow my patients to maintain the energy daily.

Henceforth, more available and receptive, I decided to dedicate all my love there. The book of Doctor Stéphen CHANG, " The Complete System of autoguérison ", was going to serve me of reference. When Françoise had offered me this work, I had browsed it of an absent-minded Sil. The language was abstruse, fuzzy, and missed elements carriers to stir my passion. What must come true... etc. Ever, this sentence had had such an impact in my mind. I could have set against myself of the days and the whole nights to decipher the Taoism, ever, before this beginning 94, I would not have arrived to anything.

It is not while lighting all spotlights of a stage, that an artist is illuminated of the celestial fires! The interior light, the one that joins us to God, is only visible of the bottom of the cSur. It was precisely that light, that dazzled me since eve. I placed a rope finely besides to my bow. Of as much more satisfying, in this economic crisis beginning, that with the practice of these exercises to the daily the patients had all odds to cover a best health... Without paying out a cent!

Since the beginning of my ministration through my magnetism, I had always refused to become an organism of beneficence. To encourage people to take itself/themselves in charge, appeared me valorizing more. My role was not to don a cassock of pastor carrier of the good speech. Everybody was not ready to receive this message in any case. My action had to, and must always, to limit me to the produced effects and no to generate them while imposing them. To respect the personality, the charisma, and the entity of the human being, this philosophy didn't escape me anymore since. I had to not substitute in any way me for the deep desires of my patients. The thread driver that I was, acted as tie yes, but for me only.

The state of mind was present. The resumption of the activities to the center was rather encouraging. I could not make otherwise that to establish a direct tie with my mental. Free of the weight of the oppression opposite the money I could let essentially, carry me by the streams of the hope without feeling the exhalations of the sewers. Tensions with the neighborhood reduced them also. People had not changed the less the world. Merely, the look that one carried them was different. The projection of oneself on the other, was confirmed in a masterly way.

I admitted and respected the convictions of each. Wizard for the some, Benefactor for the other, I remained insensible to the demonstrations emanating some two sides. Nevertheless, I maintained my position firmly with regard to the results that we got with my patients. No miracle ", nor of stupendous intervention of my part. Only, the fruit of a narrow collaboration brought good results. All the more reason to valorize the exercises Taoists, and to insist on the fact that only now, my patients could maintain the well-being that we had just heightened together.

Without trying to modify mentalities, with Françoise we noted to this stage of our activity, the differences between the patients according to the periods that we had crossed. The first clientele was the soldes " kind "; person concerned solely by the discounts. Came then the " éternelses incompris ", preceding the people that I named " taken spéciales in charge " ; since not being repaid by the cases illnesses, I didn't interest them. Hyphens between these different currents, the majority of people was rather nice.

one year after the opening, to support this report, we had some patients and faithful customers who granted us their confidence since the beginning. It is thanks to them, that I could introduce the exercises Taoists in my programs of cares. Everything that was susceptible to improve their well-being, interested them and they immediately motivated themselves. A good ten among them, and I like returning them homage, four years after the opening of our center, are always as faithful! For them, in this beginning 94, I wanted to make more again.

Soudain, " L'équilibrage Energizing Polarisant ", in his/her/its complete version, seduced me. I got to work, in order to decipher the mysteries that the book of Gordon contained. The small only introduction sentence, summarized that that I waited for this therapy; I mention: " Your hands... Thanks to them, you are capable to direct the stream of love of your cSurses in order to alleviate all suffering around you "! The energizing balancing polarizing, was going to become soon a new instrument of work for me.

Françoise was able to full size, to understand the subtlety of the divergences to the origin of so many controversies. In the beginning of our meeting, I had announced him the numerous aspects of the vital energy according to the elements of which I arranged at the time concerning these famous techniques of balancing. No had not seduced me. The some unattractive and sententious, the other superficial and relative. With Gordon I entered immediately in the topic. As soon as I mastered a movement, I took the place of Françoise on the table to feel on my turn the effects produced on the organism. She/it had the vivid real possibility proof offered at one each without particular grant. What I had told him some months before, became sudden palpable and concrete.

Every time that she/it heard my stomach to give out the characteristic noises, witnesses of the efficiency of the treatment, she/it could not stop from having a feeling legitimate of happiness. His/her/its look translated this legitimate wonder punctually. As I had made it to my beginnings, to feel the energy under his/her/its hands procures an indescribable well-being. So, why would not she/it consider making a specialty of it not?

My other patients in their very thick majority, had need to be listened, to confide, and also, to feel to coax. Not to take the risk to be seduced, they even refused the free sittings that we had offered to make know the caisson. So much so that in some weeks, several among them didn't prefer more to come to the center. In manner of salute, the shuttle was bleeding white our projects. The tumble was started. Because of this infernal shuttle on the one hand, but well beyond, of the excessive ascendancy exercised by the Miss. Tensions between Françoise and me became more regular and intense.

For a yes or for a no, we exchanged discourteous subjects. The clientele realized it and took his/her/its distances naturally. In manner of oxygen bowl as the Miss, the shuttle and his/her/its generous donor affirmed it had just planted us the knife in the back. While examining the turnovers since December 93, I noted alarmed that since the implantation of the shuttle, I lost more than ten percent of my patients monthly.

Alas, the ax of war was unearthed between it and us. What was worth us of other losses, directly bound to the denouncements of the Miss. She/it never forgave to be ousted of our life and the one of our thick baby. She/it was not going without to spread his/her/its spitefulness and naturally, I lost a good ten customers every week. On the whole, the dry losses provoked by the calumnies of the Miss, cost us more than two thousand francs per month, since the month of July. Without counting that with the insanities that she/it spilled with joy, the reputation of the center took a dirty trick of it!

less customers, more of problems! More of worries, clearing on the anguish and the uncertainty, that drove us toward a new coming down in the hells. Tempting the all for the all, to make in way of redorer our blazon, I tried to sensitize the medical profession. I had just been recognized by one the biggest cases illnesses and since the beginning of the year, I was part of an association herself adhesive by different cases.

I had not come back to the starting point, but I felt close to the one of the term to our activity. Las to beat me against windmills, tired to work not to make anything of another one that to pay for the loads, finally exhausted, I wanted to lower the arms. My poor small wife, was not divided better. Her himself very culpabilisait not to be able to make enter money, deploring of rien faire "! The cleanliness of the local and facilities, arrived in head to the charts of the satisfaction of the customers.

Does fight It was worth she works hard it to be hired? We were at the end of strengths all two. Our Thick Baby, we adored it. We had dedicated him all our love, as to the child that we could not have anymore. Every time that we spoke about closing it, we had the tears of it to the eyes. We liked it our center. We liked it very strong. Who could we understand for lack of to help us? No one naturally. Only, the astrologer permitted us thanks to his/her/its kindness and his/her/its precious advices, to keep the state of mind. She/it saw distinctly in his/her/its cards, an evolution in our business. A way of renewal. She/it had announced us a period of doubt and uncertainty, we were in in full. Why then to question his/her/its relative predictions to the change that she/it felt?

has Only, I didn't lend guard to the risks that I incurred, while working like a frantic. I was obsessed by the worry to make all price enter money. It happened to me, in the month of April especially, to begin my day at six o'clock the morning to finish my last massage toward midnight. Unconsciously, haunt by the cursed profitability, I drifted slowly and departed of my way. To pretext the panic of the customers because of the shuttle, was a shield, behind which I took shelter not to see the truth in the face. It was especially the solution of easiness.

because of my flipping character, she/it penetrated gradually in the quick sands of the fear. Fear for me above all, his/her/its love was so strong. Refuting the fatigue, of which she/it often spoke to me to covered words, I disparaged all as much the possibility of a return of my migraines. She/it also trembled of fear, to see that because of my stubbornness the customers sulked the center. We turned in circle without seeing possible exit. If The Almighty had known the fax, he would have sent me one of it to in not to doubt. Because for what was to capture the messages that he/it addressed me, I didn't testify any sign of receptiveness.

through the intermediary of a patient, an essential oil manufacturer came to find me. The range that it proposed appeared appetizing in all point. Besides, he/it let us sparkle the possibility to become the franchisees of his/her/its mark. Immediately, the machine to idea started in my mind. However, not wanting to fall in the miraculous product panel that we could have tested since the opening, I took some precautions. I wanted to study the question concerning resale, provided that oils answer precise criterias. I knew what it was necessary for me to complete my work.

We fully entered in the second phase of our activity. When I was in states as this one, my soft wife trembled of fear. Prudent, lucid, she/it immediately glimpsed the risks of potential drift of my part. Taken away by my impetus and my passion, I overlooked my mind all negative parameters systematically; all of the less those that I considered like such! As, the financial problems. Since God gave us the possibility to widen our action, nothing nor had to could not get crosswise of this royal way.

It is what panicked Françoise! She/it tried to calm my ardor, putting in inscription the dangers to see to kiss me this vocation to the detriment of the most rudimentary imperative of wisdom, time and again. Only, isolated once besides by my mistake in his/her/its silence and his/her/its suffering, she/it began a too long period of moral isolation. I didn't want anything knowledge. I persisted of more beautiful, every time that she/it brought a doubt concerning the credibility of my ambitions. We were at the antipodes one of the other. Not wanting to break my dream, my divine wife accepted resigned to see to run me to my loss. What dragged it inexorably toward the bottom of his/her/its abyss. Mute, silent, she/it glimpsed with lucidity what was going to happen to us.

Françoise had on its side, again thanks to the Miss, developed his/her/its own cares since the end of the month of June. The cryothérapie (envelopment of the body to cold weather) after my musclés s " massages ", completed by oils and the thinning frosts, offered him the possibility to have his/her/its first customers. She/it didn't certainly win masses of money, but the few that she/it cashed permitted him of more to feel useless and especially, unproductive. It say in what state of joy I was during this period. I was well alas the only one. I didn't understand why, regularly, Françoise had some allusions a little stern about the sales and products. She/it tried to put me on the way, without taking the risk to intercede in whatever it is. Poor treasure. I was a child, happy and unconscious. I didn't have the least ulterior motive by no means with regard to the hair oils, that I sold in the only goal to improve the well-being of my patients. Credulous, I drowned progressively in the juice of my enthusiasm excess.

I became even at times odious to sound against. Was it necessary that she/it is pessimistic to refuse to admit the evidence? Did she/it hide from me something about the threats that always weighed on us? Was she/it subject to an outside pressure, of the style blackmail? All passed me by the head. Lecherous and parano at the same time, I strolled in the pranks of my emotional fantasies. More the negation punctuated its answers, more I revolted against it. Fortunately, thanks to God, I didn't have one instant the least doubt on his/her/its fidelity. What would have been a hell.

a patient's arrival, reached of vaginal mycoses, shook me in the excessive comfort in which I had coiled up. Underestimating the potentiality of the energizing balancing, as much that of the Taoism to this level, I raised the challenge while taking in hand magnetism. This young woman, in all point delight, was very close to the depression. Reached since more of four years, beyond the simple physical sufferings, his/her/its couple was the agony very close to. Without report or nearly, I understood, without guarantying it for as much, his/her/its spouse's behavior. She/it had all essayer ; the antibiotics, creams, the frosts, the gélules ; in vain. Establishing a fast synthesis of all cases that I had met, I began the treatment. Of entry, me dynamisais insistently the first and the second Chakras ; link of the feet to the pubis, after opening of the folds of the groin and activation of the ovaries. For these two Chakrases, I remained at least twenty minutes. To counter the inherent anguish in his/her/its state, I weakened the Solar plexus.

Me dynamisais very greatly the Chakra of the cSur and the one of the Thyroïde ; this in the hope to improve the system immunitaire and to consolidate the balance of the cells. I finished my action on the Chakrases while doing a bundle on the hypophysis. Not to activate the vaginal pains, I abstained from working the 7 ^_ème Chakra. Then, just before doing a massage dynamisant on the stomach, and relaxing on the back, I worked intensely the fundamental point of the 1 ^_er Chakra, situated on the tray pelvien ; the one on which I work, solely when the conditions I oblige there, as it was the case with this patient.

Rotating bundle, in the sense of the needles of a watch, the fingers situated to two centimeters of the point. Application of the extremity of my right adult, that is the most loaded in magnetism, during several minutes on this same point. Some very intense tingles appeared regularly during these phases. Punctuating my action on the 1^_er Chakra, I made a crossing between the starting point and the top of the pubis. Right hand to dish on the pelvic tray, and the left hand put on the underbelly. This link had for goal to regenerate the mucous membranes inside the vagina, and to eliminate the microbial invasions.

at the same time as magnetism brought a " bol of oxygène " to the bladder. To the exit of the massages, I finished my sitting above by a rotating imposition, the two parallel hands, the stomach until the vagina. The demonstrations of well-being came with this movement. This is how au term of the twelfth sitting, after an alternation of tops and bottoms, that my patient has been ridded completely of these ungainly mycoses. Naturally, it went from pair, after the return to the normal, extinct, flown, no sign of life nor recognition. What accentuated I think, my indignation facing the situation of the center.

We were to some encablures of our second year of existence. It was nearly an exploit. The barometer of our activity had touched lightly the two extremities permanently in alternation. Would we finally succeed in consolidating the ship? What was necessary to make to dam up these fluctuations? Without transition I passed the euphoria to the downfall. Françoise was himself of it accustomed, but alas, this time, the situation was dramatic. The massages, at the end October, were decreased of half. The sales had fallen in a spectacular manner. Our forecastings? They were invalidated to more of sixty percent! I macerated in an aromatic sauce a little special, during this last quarter 94. I didn't understand. I felt not at all of course offending. What could I really have made to separate my clientele?

Françoise, driven back to this wall of incomprehension, fought best that she was able to. The morning before rising, to length of day, and in the evening before falling asleep, she/it prayed. She/it prayed very strong, and implored the Almighty's clemency to my consideration. She/it was conscious that I crossed a period excessively laborious and delicate, gnawed by the doubt and the uncertainty. She/it especially knew, that I didn't measure the size of my excesses in all kinds, mainly against The Almighty. She/it didn't dare to tempt especially whatever it is, of fear to see to explode me of rage. I was upstart of it to such a degree of weariness and tensions, that I was to two fingers all to send to walk; once besides!

I did my sittings with to the bottom of the cSur, the certainty to accomplish these gestures for the last time. The threats gushed of all parts. We were so écSurés, tired, that we didn't take no seriously of them. Since God abandoned us, why try to honor what remained us to pay? Françoise gave itself of the pain. With a mere nothing, she/it embellished our existence. In spite of his/her/its pathetic state, she/it found strength to smile and to give me the impression to have the state of mind. In silence, she/it struggled of best that she/it was able to, to pay for the invoices with the progression of the returns of money. She/it made everything that she/it was able to, for ever to antagonize me. I was not able to some anymore, I was conscious of it this time. For a mere nothing, I started crying.

AT some weeks of Christmas, I deducted some that only the unfavorable conjuncture was responsible for this absenteeism. My progress in the aromathérapie had just placed besides, me on orbit. The idea to conceive my own synergies titillated me. Remained to find another manufacturer. That that had to not put too many problems moreover. The market of the hair oils, especially in 94, was in full effervescence. He/it offered a potential of incomes non negligible. The labo that we had just left was the proof of it. The only values to which they were attached, were excessively the decoy of the gain and the profits.

Soudain, I have been taken of a violent migraine. God shook me the plums! The interior light illuminated my darkness. I understood why my patients had turned me the back since the month of October. Because of the pressures that I exercised on them, by the pressure on the sales! The slap that I took, was beneficial. While opening the eyes on what had become a real desert, I achieved the size of the damages. Immediately aware, Françoise surrendered in a deep grief. Delivered to his/her/its tour of this weight that oppressed it since these last months, she/it confided me his/her/its relief. Miracle! I had finally taken good note of the reality, without trying to accuse another person. On several occasions, she/it had wanted to put me in guard, in vain. My repentance was sincere. Being sufficient in any case, so that she/it forgives me and appear even more generous to my against.

His/her/its love, his/her/its tenderness, had overcome my scruples towards the money that I had made lose because of my idiocies. Our couple was recovered, our even stronger love. More than ever, far from capitulating, we accepted this new challenge. Would this sufficient be to come us out of this trap? Would the Almighty forgive me him my disloyalties and my gaps? To these questions, Françoise the first, answered there while ever surrounding me with one degree affection reach.

The harmony came back mildly, the interior peace was near. My prayers, dialogues with The Almighty, were them as authentic and sincere. Replaced on our path of life, after the comical escapades, us acted according to our instinct. Without asking us questions, respecting the engagements that we had made, us decided to renew with the projects to hire a collaborator suddenly. After all, I was not the only one to massage God correctly thank you! If we asked a masseuse to come to work with us? With techniques different of mine, we would have more odds to make come another clientele?

It was not the good way for us. Although I began to feel some signs obvious of weariness towards my technique of massage, God didn't want to offer us this choice of diversification. The exercises Taoists, the energizing balancing, completed our benefits marvelously. They only addressed to a minimum of insiders. I realized that while always offering the same gestures since two years to people, these could feel a way of monotony. What could I make in this case?

The first synergy to which I risked myself, was the one that owed dynamiser therefore the set of the meridians, of the organs. I baptized it merely " Énergétique ". I selected oils the more adapted, before proposing my formula to the director of the laboratory. I was anxious to assure me that no oil is incompatible with the other.

All results were noted preciously. Conscious that the cellular activity was not the same of a person to the other, I wanted to forge me a concrete opinion after at least four massages on the same person. The first report that I was capable to pull of it, was that thanks to my synergy, the Chakrases maintained themselves more easily open of one week on the other. The tonus, the insomnias, and a lot of other energizing lawlessness run, seemed attenuated. Strong of these very encouraging results, I tackled a problem in vogue: the weight!

Prendre the time to explain the working of the body. The role of the organs that was implied in the dysfunction and their site, such were my steps first before all intervention. I left from a very simple principle (personal very sensible), that the body is a child. He/it lives and reacts while following our moods. I centered my theories, on the agreement and the harmony between the body and the mind. More the person moved away of this balance, as far as hating itself/themselves merely, more the body had an attitude of folds and protective.

Then, always in the wake of my recommendations, I insisted on the totale quantity " of liquides " in the day. In any case, the ideal being to be held in a fork understood between 1 liter and half to two liters per day. Beyond, the kidneys don't manage anymore to follow and are saturated. The first rule therefore, to lose some kilograms, it is to encourage the elimination. With kidneys that hoist the white flag, it appears me difficile !

in addition to the development of this sector of activity, I refined my energizing balances. With a device, I could measure the energizing values contained in the meridians. After a control of the Chakrases and the main organs, I elaborated a synthesis and determined with precision the extent of the metabolic dysfunction. If I met a disagreement between magnetism to naked hand and the meridians, I contrasted with the antenna to Lick. There, the doubt was not permitted anymore. If the antenna didn't oscillate, the organ was physically diminué ; therefore, the illness was calculated.

With Françoise, we recovered the state of mind. Certainly, the problems were always present, but with the determination that was ours nothing frightened us more. We had suppressed the nocturnes and work Sunday. Thus, our couple could savor as it agreed to the pleasures of the détente. Closed Sunday and Monday, we could blow somewhat and to recover our efforts of the week. We finally understood that to give, it is necessary to accept to receive. As person around us was not able to fill us in friendship, we drew to the bottom of our love most beautiful hours of well-being.

we had Never, been so near one of the other. In love than the burst of our happiness ever, made the envious. The harmony pointed the tip of his/her/its nose. We were conscious to have established strong foundations, on which henceforth we could begin to build our universe. To the center, home or everywhere else, every time that I had the opportunity to admire Françoise, I felt to sink in me the tepid streams of the passion. I finally discovered it, as I had never had the time to make it before.

This time, we were insulated to the negative vibrations. Reinforced in our union, anxious of more to let us dominate, we surveyed with insurance the ways that God had drawn us.

On my path, I didn't linger to make a person's acquaintance, that was going to bring the solution to my problems, of diversity concerning cares. The financial renewal to the center, granted me the possibility to invest me in a double therapeutic formation. Occasional on four months, between April and July, I could reinforce the range of my benefits.

The metamorphic massage (Prénatothérapie), and the one in Lemniskate (Massage in eight), reinforced me in my new arrangements. The first, was capable to go back up until the period of gestation. The goal to reach, being to eliminate the present blockages as much as those of the past. The second, although very sensual, was not less efficient of it against the phenomena of stress, anguish, and jumpiness. Eurêka! With these two techniques, effective and gracious at the same time, I could bring another strength to my cares.

The good news don't ever arrive alone says one? This adage was confirmed during the same period. Hardly I was me registered person to the courses, that Françoise on his/her/its side showed the desire to become a fully-fledged therapist. It was the lymphatic drainage that seduced it the more. I didn't have my diplomas again in pocket that already, my treasure of small woman invested body and soul in his/her/its new ministration. Spread until the end of the year the formation promised to be long and laborious.

As we were closed Sunday, it hardly posed any problems. Outside of some Saturdays naturally, the center would not suffer this common desire from to learn more always. The demands of the clientele were more and more precise and oriented toward the natural medicines. The opportunities that came to offer itself/themselves to us had what to fill all our desires. Besides, thanks to his/her/its formation, Françoise was going to be able to become " finally productive "!

Poursuivant on my momentum, I enrolled by the laboratory for a formation in aromatic medicine. This one being planned for the end of the year, between September and December, allowed me to plunge me assiduously in my books. So Françoise would not be alone to study! In spite of the financial difficulties that them, didn't forget us, the harmony was reached. The serenity took the step on the moroseness of the last months. We felt Françoise and me, perfectly well in our skin.

The signal of alarm addressed by The Almighty August first, didn't challenge me. Invited by neighbors to spend one day of fishing, we were Françoise and I delight to come finally out of our " trou ". God had given me appointment! Me I was not exposed in the sun since Dakar. I was pale as the death. In spite of the recommendations of Françoises and our friends, I didn't supervise my skin. What had to arrive occurred.

second-degree Brûlé on the legs and the arms, I looked like a crayfish. Except that me, this color I didn't agree at all! He/it was nearly missed so that I meet at the hospital. Was I finally going to hear the message and to stop my activity? Not the less the world. I only stopped only one day, pursuing my work with the bandaged members. What was epic enough. Because to lower me, it was the cross and the banner. Everybody called me madman, or even of mindless. It was kind in truth! To those and those that shouted it a little too strong, I retorted to give me the necessary money to leave on vacation cynically!

This time, I became aware of the weight of this work excess. I felt to weigh fatigue on my shoulders. We were at some months of the exam of Françoise. Was not I going to weaken so close to the goal? Besides, Françoise had all leisure to exercise his/her/its talents on me! Every evening or nearly, my soft wife gave herself/itself a pleasure to relieve my back essentially. She/it progressed to step of giants in his/her/its training in drainage. With his/her/its fairy's hands, of an extreme sweetness, she/it showed evidence of a certain grant. She/it had really found his/her/its way, and I was delighted some for her.

The month of September arrived. In spite of numerous signals of alarm of the Almighty, I persisted in my rhythm of work. The obtaining of a loan, granted after many research, made me push some wings. Far from reducing the frequency of my massages, I maintained the daily quota in the surroundings of the seven. All my techniques of cares, the polarity, magnetism, the Taoism, was solicited by turns. A sitting didn't look like the previous.

ON less than fifteen days of my first aromatic medicine seminary, I enrolled for another weekend of formation. The digito - electro - puncture, that I had studied previously, revived the flame of the passion. I saw there by there, the solution to the problems that I met daily. After an energizing balance for example, if the patient didn't show the desire to make itself/themselves massage, he missed a hyphen to re-establish the normality in the meridians.

Poussant the plug a few too far probably, I considered putting to profit the courses of Françoise to furnish the two Sundays where I would be alone. Didn't I have any place anymore during the week on my diary? The godsend of these two weekends fell to pick. Far from dedicating them to an any idleness, I took some appointments with about ten patients. Rather than to turn in circle, so such had been the case, I preferred to give a few more of air to the finances. These are I believe, these inauspicious decisions that triggered the continuation of the events.

The Almighty didn't hear it of this ear. Didn't I want to listen to it and to reduce my activity? He/it used himself/itself of it with strength and determination. Immediately after my last weekend of formation, in the evening same I was taken of a violent migraine. Not as strong as the previous, but all the same. I would have to hear it the message, and I didn't make it. The following day, then two days later, same movies. Every evening at the same hour, while arriving home, I was shaken by these sinewy headaches.

It was not sufficient for God, who inflicted me October 12, a terrible migraine. To such point that Françoise called the physician on duty. I was in full delirium. He/it was a few more of twenty-three hours when the doctoresse arrived. Since nineteen hours, while leaving the center, the migraine had not stopped increasing. The doctor showed his astonishment facing such an intensity of the pain. It was the first time that she/it attended such a crisis. She/it made what was necessary. Was this the effect of the sting or the downfall of the to fatigue? Still is him that that night, I fell asleep toward two hours in the morning.

The rubber band that I held between the hands, arrived to the extremities of his/her/its resistance. October 17, he/it broke himself/itself. The migraine reached an indescribable violence. I was delirious, and I had the thickest difficulties to maintain me up. Several times, I fell on the ground, to half conscious. Only listening to his/her/its cSur, my dulcinée called an ambulance. At the time of my previous crisis the twelve, the doctoresse had written a bulletin of hospitalization. I had refused naturally, but that evening, I implored Françoise to make that that it was necessary.

It was then the beginning of the discount at the hour of my clocks. Why was I there? The answer came me enough quickly! He/it was late, I was sounded, but I had forgotten to show me absurd. My burns in the month of August, the decrease of clientele, without counting different small pains. All was there to mean me to stop the machines. Obsessed by the profitability, I had disregarded the Almighty's messages. I remained of long minutes to meditate, before being transported for the night in the dormitory of the emergencies.

Two times per day when it was not three, she/it was there, docile, moving of love and courage. Every time that I saw his/her/its small face torn by the suffering and the anguish, I gave myself the kicks to the necessary buttocks to thank it for his/her/its love. For her more that for no other person, I took the desire to beat me. His/her/its exam to prepare, the center to open, the house, even partially and above all the long hours of solitude in a hopelessly empty bed!

While going in our small nest of love, one week after, I felt a bizarre sensation. I had the impression to have left since centuries. All appeared foreign to me. My personal objects, as much as the furniture, all was donned of a new coat. I became aware in these minutes, of the real change that came to operate itself/themselves in me.

Redécouvrant the things, yet intimate, I had the certainty to carry henceforth on life a look just as innovative. The cold shower that I had just taken had been beneficial. I opened the eyes either on the other, but on myself. Far from revolting me, I thanked The Almighty of his/her/its mercy. Without this alert, of which Françoise ignored all more gravity, I would never have been capable of it all alone.

Each of the stages paraded then in my head. I was far, lost in the haziness of my dreams. To the baby's instar that sees for the first time, I discovered life. When I took contact with the reality, it was my to stretch Françoise that was in front of me. To the precise moment or my thoughts moved toward the future, the angelic face of my dulcinée drew before my eyes the pictures of that that would be our tomorrow.

I liked it, of a love yet strong. Since this minute, I understood that I had to adore it. At the time Idles about, guardian angel, Guide, she/it was before all my quick strength. Without her, I was not anything, that a filthy poor, roaming in the debris of his/her/its past. Thanks to her, and with her I had the feeling especially, to raise me these extents above for least painful. Vagabond adieu, farewell the capricious child or the revolutionary adult. Hello life, as my divine marries offered it to me with so much devotion.

The following day to the center, I felt the same vibrations precisely that eve home. I felt detached of this materialistic environment, in which since three years soon I had learned to become that that I am now. Three years of heavy sacrifices, pains and griefs, but also, of joys and intense happiness. The Thick Baby, that I had adored to the point to personify it like a child, didn't look anymore at me of the same way.

I felt that the end was near. One month, two or six? I hardly worried about it. The rupture was ineluctable, I was prepared of it. Having never had for principle to count on the money of the other, in this case the one of my gain insurance loss, I could not conceive to live to the hooks of a company. I knew especially as I had to respect the orders of rest and wisdom that the professor had given me imperatively, at the time of his/her/its visit eve. He/it had made me really fear.

We celebrated as he/it agreed, the brightness success of Françoise to his/her/its exam. Punctuating authoritatively close to one year of intense studies, relentlessness and persistence, left from the level zero as regards to the anatomy or the physiopathologie, she/it hoisted herself/itself proudly on the rostrum. Lasting my forced inactivity, she/it assumed the relay by the rare patient having had the kindness to play the game.

The prémices of the death of the center was there. Françoise became aware of it and didn't try anymore to all to make to give me the illusion of a possible resumption. She/it saw well that to the bottom, I didn't have anymore envies to beat me. I felt that our impossible " mission " had to stop there. Not one second, our faith won't have been shaken during the last months of our activity in the center. Our paths had to take another direction, we had gotten used to this idea. Different perspectives offered themselves then. What reinforced us in our desire not to regret anything.

Cajolant his/her/its bruised child, she/it kept her/its tears not to add to my grief the weight of remorse. In his/her/its arms, tenderly embraced, I let surge the immensity of my pain. Our Thick Baby, would have soon more adoptive parents. After having been orphan during numerous years, we were proud of him to have given back during these four years, a semblance of life. This evening of adieus was far from being euphoric. Seated side by side on the sofa, we had the impression to flee as cowards.

I believed myself strong, too probably. My limits were reached, and the human poor that I was didn't have courage to pursue the fight. I comforted myself a little, while thinking than very soon, in a smaller local other, the quasi - totality of my environment would be at my sides. Not question to abandon my profession. Was not that that to honor the memory of our Thick Baby, I had to fight again. In more human conditions.

The opportunity had just been offered me by one my patients and I had not hesitated one instant. New departure? Stage had to say me, while knowing that henceforth, my life would only be made of eternal discounts in reason. I said adieu in our center, at the same time as I greeted the district respectfully. Since the following week, I had foreseen to begin amenities in my new studio. I was taken so in the conversation with my Thick Baby, that I didn't hear to happen to Françoise.

We lived our last hours in this macrocosm where the divine love had come until us. It was not the end for us, but well on the contrary the beginning of another adventure. We had opened our center, persuaded that we were ready to offer that that we pretended. To speak of love, to give the best of oneself, to accept the differences and people as they were, could improvise itself. We were convinced of the authenticity of our subjects.

to save my to stretch Françoise of depresses it, in which she/it was going to fall anyway I would have made whatever. It was a mistake, and God made it understand us during these four years. What we understood above all, it was the logic with which The Almighty brought us to review our theories. He/it wove his/its canvas with subtlety, gave us the means, but while supervising the progress of the operations closely.

Knowledge to admit my mistakes, my shortcomings as much as my qualities, made as part of this awakening of the mind that allowed me to pass my shade. To take self-awareness, to arrive to the summits of the awakening of the soul, although feeling, is the most honorary act and valorizing that either. The essential, and we understood it together, was to go at the end of the things. To flee, to abandon, to abandon because of the difficulties, is an unmentionable cowardice. Did we have lost a battle certainly? The war was not finished for as much.

The banner of the pride, long before the one of the devotion, had floated in our minds. Certainly, we had taken ourselves to the game and very quickly, we understood where our duty was. The aura of the nobility, that we put in inscription to the eyes of people, was veiled since the first day by this excessive desire to appear. Unconsciously, but the facts were there. Everybody cannot assert itself to be a Mother Thérésa.

The faith, the altruism, if they can learn themselves and can develop himself in the cSur of each, don't must on no account, to guaranty a personal ambition. To the impossible no one is held certainly; but it is not while looking at the other to eat, that one can eat! The feet on earth, the head solidly anchored on our shoulders, hand in hand, we left the center, proud to have been at the end of our possibilities, happy to be able to recognize our limits also.

These limits precisely, that everybody goes beyond permanently. We were certainly also pained, disappointed, but happy to have discerned the subtleties that transform a " mouton " in individual. To be " ZEN ", without the knowledge we opted for this wisdom. Far from being like a doctrine or ideology more or less erroneous, this spiritual current embodies what the human being should know. We learned it while working like frantic.

to go at the end of our passion, without preoccupying us of the other. To think and to act according to our desires and no to satisfy those of the society. Such were the generating parameters of the values as today, we claim them. Whatever is strength, the instruction, the power or the fame, what excels that above all is the power of understanding, tolerance and love for the other. It doesn't mean to want to impose our ideals.

Comprendre that we meet people permanently, the situations, in the only goal to purify our soul, it is what there is more difficult. We project on the other, the movie of our existence. To support this, I take for example the card of the Zen " Les Projections ". In substance, I mention, she/it specifies with logic, that " le movie that we see in a room of movies, don't be on the screen, but in the projecteur ". To the instar of the movie, we don't see on the face of people that we coast, that our own Me Interior.

The miracles, if they exist, are not descended and come only of the only will of the individual, to escape what he/it considers like a martyrdom. More the person will admit than her only, is capable to modify his/her/its daily environment, more she will detach herself/itself of the constraints to live in conformity with what " l'humanité " wishes. The discipline, the respect, the love of the other, it is at the bottom of ourselves that it is necessary to draw the foundations of it. God is there for all, and it is not necessary to shout it on the roofs to feel a worthy apostle.

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